Is it a crime to fall in love? That is exactly the question that Mrs.
Folasade Esther (surname withheld by us) has asked herself a million
times. She has been seeking an answer after her heartthrob, who works
with an oil company in Akwa Ibom State, reportedly turned his back on
her and their two children to marry a lover he met on Facebook.
Daily Sun gathered that when Folasade, a physically challenged lady, got married, most people thought it was a marriage made in heaven.
Unfortunately, the one-time happy union later turned to hell on earth.
Although the bride counts herself blessed for having two lovely
children, she does not hide the fact that the six-year-old marriage had
brought her more tears than joy.
Folasade said her husband, who she met 15 years ago in Lagos, suddenly
broke his marital vows after battering her for years. The proof of her
agony could be seen on her body, full of indelible scars from bruises
allegedly inflicted on her by her husband. Folasade said she bore her
sorrows in uncomplaining meekness, casting her hopes on the Christian
assurance that all would be well again.
To her disappointment, things got worse. Her heroic endurance was
shattered recently when the father of her children fell into the arms of
another woman on the social interactive site, Facebook. Since then,
things fell apart, as he allegedly subjected her to rounds of beatings
and starvation.
Grieved by the incident, the young lady recounted with tears how she
laboured for five days in the hospital for the delivery of her baby,
regretting that her husband neither showed up nor called. She said his
uncaring attitude at that time was a clear message that he had something
up his sleeves.
“He never called to ask after my condition. I was later transferred to
the General Hospital, Uyo and they had to carry out a caesarean section
on me. By then, the baby was so weak and it passed away the next day,”
she lamented. With songs of sorrow on her lips, Folasade’s hypertensive
condition has deteriorated so badly that she has to live on drugs.
Struggling with a crutch to support her disabled leg in the face of her
present health crisis and at the same time fending for her two
under-aged children has left the 36-year-old lady truly traumatised.
She told the reporter that she had to wash her dirty linen in public
because her husband made her life so miserable. On whether they were
live-in-lovers, she said they got married in the law court six years
ago. “We were in courtship for several years. During the courtship, I
got pregnant for him and gave birth to my son. Later, we wedded legally
at the Akwa Ibom registry in 2007, about six years ago.
I have already had my son before that court marriage. My son will be 10
next month. After the court marriage, I gave birth to a baby girl,” she
said. Folasade said trouble slipped into her marriage when her husband
started dating a strange woman on Facebook. According to her, the new
lover was a divorcee and mother of four children. “Our problem started
when they started online dating. Last time, I went to give birth to my
baby at UK.
That was about three years ago. I noticed that anytime I travelled, the
lady would come over to my marital home and stay with my husband. I have
been noticing other changes in my husband’s attitude towards me. So, I
started suspecting my husband.
It is a case of a dog that wags its tail whenever it sees you, but all
of a sudden, it will see you and start barking. I knew that something
was wrong,” she said. Folasade said her curiosity to find out the
problem from her husband earned her merciless beatings.
The case got worse whenever she summoned courage to complain to his
friends and relatives, pleading with them to intercede on her behalf.
Such step, she said, won her more beatings and the stoppage of the
N30,000 monthly feeding allowance for the entire family.
Folasade said she did everything to make her marriage work and possibly
win back her husband’s love but her matrimonial home kept falling apart.
She said her husband, at a point, abandoned her and the kids for about a
month, leaving them without any money for their feeding. “When these
troubles began, I called some of his bosses to explain, pleading with
them to talk to him. But anytime I called his friends to help us make
peace, things would get worse. I noticed that if his family tried to
talk to him, he would never listen. He is the breadwinner of the house,
so, nobody can fault his actions. If they don’t support him, then, he
will starve them too.”
The aggrieved mother said the height of her agony came on May 15 when he
turned her to a punching bag. Aside battering her, she narrated how she
became a public spectacle when her husband allegedly tore her clothes
to shreds and threw her outside the gates of their house at night.
She had to seek refuge at the Police Station, Eket, she said. According
to her, she reported the matter to the police at Eket, while some Good
Samaritans provided clothes to cover her nudity. “The police came to
arrest him but he refused to open the door.
The way he beat me, I couldn’t see anything, not even my phone. I was
tattered when I got to the police station at Eket. The police came back
again but he refused to open the door. He later called the DPO to
complain that armed robbers came to his house to rob him. He saw the
officers that came in police uniform but he turned the whole story
around, calling them armed robbers,” she said.
When he finally showed up at the Police Station, Folasade said the
Divisional Police Officer (DPO) ordered him to take her to the hospital
for treatment.
But she said he only drove her home and left for work. She said her
agony worsened in the night when his lover came to their house with
another lady and they slept with her husband in the bedroom. Folasade
said she and her children had to sleep in another room. But she was yet
to experience the worst.
According to her, she was returning from the hospital on Friday, May 17,
where she had gone to treat her wounds, when she sighted a big truck in
their compound. Her husband, aided by his Facebook lover and the
woman’s sister, allegedly removed every item in the house. Not even her
personal belongings or those of her children were spared, she said.
Folasade said she kept her distance to avoid further trouble. And when
the truck drove off, she walked into an empty house where, in her words,
she wailed in agony. When it dawned on her that her tears could not
restore her lost fortunes, she hurriedly went to pick her children from
school and they left their home empty handed.
“There is nothing I brought out of my house. Not even my underwear were
left for me. I lost everything. My children had nothing to wear expect
the school uniform they wore to school on that day. It is as bad as
that,” she said.
When our reporter contacted the husband on the telephone, he said he
wouldn’t join issues with his wife on the pages of a newspaper. Further
attempts to persuade him to open up met a brick wall, as he abruptly
hung up.
Although the husband has chosen to be silent, Folasade is shouting at
the rooftop. She is calling on human rights groups, association of
physically challenged persons, Ministry of Women Affairs and other
relevant agencies to fight for her.
With her two children by her side, the task of building from ground zero
seemed daunting. But she had vowed never to allow the custody of her
two children in the hands of a strange woman that lured her husband away
from their marital home. “I am handicapped. There is little I can do.
He should take care of his children.
He should provide money for the training of these children. I want to
beg human rights groups, the association of physically challenged
persons and concerned activists to save me from the hands of this man
that subjected me to all these abuses over the years.
He turned me to a punching bag, starving me and throwing my children and
I out of the house. He believed there is nothing I have or that there
is nothing I can do. But I have God,” she said
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